Friday, 27 February 2009

Friday Photo - George Best Shape up & Dance?

Was crawling around the web looking for a good picture of George Best to use for Friday photo and stumbled upon this. MAry Stavin & Georgie had some records out in the 80s to cash in on the get fit vibe that fell across the nation apparently. I think its hilarious. And if girls at my gym looked like Mary I might go more.

Just googled her and she is a former Miss world. Well nothing but the best for our George and if that wasnt enough she was a Bond girl in not one but two Bond movies Octopussy and A view to a kill. And yes Georgie did get his leg over, what a man!

Iphone baby

Yes I cracked and got one on a 18th month contract. Im seriously contemplating not going to the pub after work and going home to play with it. Anyone know any good apps to buy? Does redtube work on the iphone?

Thursday, 26 February 2009

Google Ads Competition

Since my housemate has started his own blog to have a rant at life, I noticed he had put google ads on his page. I dont see these on many peoples blogs. We have decided to have a competition. First to make a pound off Google ads wins. Loser has to buy the winner a case of beer. I think it might take about a year to earn a pound though, the beer will taste sweet when I win though. You can check out Gimps blog at the link below and no I dont know why his nickname is Gimp.

Irish Blogger gets slammed by Ryanair reported on!

Just seen this on, Jason thought he had found a glitch in the Ryanair system and wrote a blog on it and then some Ryanair staff came on and gave him some grief (nothing new there). CNN confirmed that the comments had come from Ryanair and when they rang to question Ryanair about it they got an earful too.

Gotta love the Ryanair policy "Get on the plane and shut the fuck up"

I think this is my third blog on Ryanair.

Id give my right nut to get on the cover of Wired magazine, getting an article written on there website about you is pretty cool too. See the links below. Oh and TOners was the first to comment on Jasons blog, KING OF THE NERDS!

Tuesday, 24 February 2009

How not to make someone redundant!

My housemate is finding out today whether he is being made redundant or not. He and thirty other employees got a letter yesterday stating that 14 members of staff would be let go and there job was at risk. They have a staff of about 60 he has told me so basically 30 got put at risk yesterday and there having meetings all day today to see who is getting the boot.

He emailed me a few minutes ago to tell me the latest

"well according to someone whos alreayd been in a meeting it was explained that theres 3 people and the cad manager whos to stay...theres only 6 of us so thats 2 to go...also that document handling will be done with cad from now so that means i might have a small chance of staying as the currrent print monkey will get the boot and i know how to use everything as i was the print monkey before that...

theres a still sh*tting it though"

I prefer the way they have been doing it in my job. THey call you into a meeting at 9am tell you your gone, pack your stuff, leave that day with a months pay then you get your redundancy after that.

Imagine having to sit there waiting to see if your being made redundant. Ridiculous, im sure there whole office hasn't done any work today. Just sitting around waiting to see who gets the chop. Bad for morale, apparently if you sack people on a Friday they cause less of a scene too.

I wished my friend good luck and told him id give him 20 quid for his 40 inch HD tv if he was stuck for money, im too nice for my own good.

Further update from the man himself, this is the first of three redundancy meetings he will be having over the next three weeks. I told him to claim the boss would save his job if my mate sucked his cock and then demand to paid for the next 5 years as an outside consultant who never had to come to work and if his boss refused, I instructed my friend to headbutt the wall until his head exploded and say his boss attacked him.

Monday, 23 February 2009


Bruce Springsteen has been confirmed for Glastonbury and Im pretty excited. Just hoping that Blur get confirmed as well and living in dream world now but AC/DC too. I might actually stay a bit sober and clear headed if that dream came true. Oh no wait I wouldn't.

Dear Paddy (Volume 1)

"Dear Paddy,

I DIDN'T get aroused at all when I had a private lapdance. Does that mean I’m gay?

I’m an 18-year-old virgin, have been out with a few girls but I’ve never had a serious relationship.

My brother had his 21st last week and we went on a pub crawl and ended up in this club.

We all had a private dance but the girl who danced for me was about 30 and very forceful in getting me to dance with her.

I just felt nervous and embarrassed and didn’t feel any stirrings in the trouser department.

I’m happy to wait until the right girl comes along but all the other guys were saying how hot the women were and I wondered whether this is a sign I’m gay.

What do you think?"

Dear Bob,

I think you made the mistake of going on a pub crawl and then falling into some seedy shit hole. So you got pestered into having a lap dance by some old trout and had twenty beers before that and your wondering why you had a case of Mr.Floppy. If you enter one of these shit holes again be sure to have a good look round for the best looking skank. Not much point in getting a hard on anyway as you wont be able to do much about it till you get home. Oh so in answer to your question yes your a fag, for writing this letter.

Couldnt give a fuck,

Sunday, 22 February 2009

Poor so very poor!

As mentioned before I am really shocking at managing money. I have about twenty quid left until Friday. At least there is some food in the fridge and I have paid my bus until March 2nd. I just took two quid down to tesco's in coppers. So a big queue gathered behind me waiting to be served by the only cashier as he counted my coppers to pay for a litre of milk, porridge and a packet of crips. It came to £1.68 and ive 16 coppers left. They make a nice sound in my pocket when I walk :)

you think id be depressed about this but I find it very amusing

Crashing Abbys(Ana) Wedding

Yeah we havent even made hanky panky pie yet!

Saturday, 21 February 2009

Getting dumped

Never nice getting dumped. Worse getting dumped by a text. Not sure what went wrong here. We've been seeing each other since Xmas. She has a daughter and im fine about that. I stayed there quite a bit the last 2 months and we had planned on going on a short holiday to Barcelona in April. I stayed there Thursday night we kissed goodbye in the morning and emailed each other throughout the day. Then got a text at 5 saying blah blah need to concentrate on me right now and my kid more blah blah blah sorry

I thought what the fuck, but shes done this before and then text me about 10 times when she was drunk one night the first one was by "accident" of course. I dont know, im very confused right now. I went straight to the pub after work and drank alot of beer then went and played Street Fighter. After about my 6th pint i get a text off her

"Do you want me to put your jumper in the wash, im putting on a wool wash?x"

what the fuck! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Street FIGHTER 4 = sore thumb!

I dont think I have done this since I was about 12. But ive got a nasty blister on my thumb from bashing the crap out of my playstation pad playing Street fighter, definately worth it!

Friday, 20 February 2009

Nob nation Podcast!

Nob nation is a podcast made by RTE that I subscribe too. Makes me feel a bit closer to home and I find it fuckin hilarious. My favourite character on it is Biffo(Brian Cowen) as he's currently talking about how shite the country is right now in Biffo's Diary.

Biffo "On the international front, ive been ringing my Offaly cousin Bollox O'Bama in Washington but he still wont accept the reverse charges. I suppose he has his hands full with the Israeli situation."

Mícheál: "Gabh mo leithscéal Taoiseach"

Biffo: "What do you want Mícheál? Make it quick!

Mícheál:"Its just im under pressure to provide the Government stance on Israel going forward. Are we for or against calls for a Palestinian state or are we supporting the Jewish state?"

Biffo: "Look it, tell them it doesnt matter what state they think there in. Were in a worse fuckin state over here, now get out before i kick you into Ramadan."

Thursday, 19 February 2009

A pikey handshake

Last night I hosted a pro evo competition down the pub. Typically I got knocked out in the group stages but that left me plenty of drinking time. After the champion had been crowned we played a four player game. These two pikies asked if they could play on one of the other 3 playstations we had set up in the room. All of a sudden we noticed the screen went blank, we all looked over. They looked away.

"What the fuck are yous doing?"

I walked over they had unplugged the leads and were probably just about to do a runner. Of course this pikey was screaming at us for being suspicious of him and his mate and threatened to glass my friend blah blah blah. We all stood up and I thought it was going to kick off like something out of Snatch. Then the pikey said something incomprehensible in his drunk stupor, spat on his hand and offered it to my mate. We all shook this knackers hand and they fuckin left.

It wasn't that funny then, cant stop laughing now.

Friday, 13 February 2009

THe one handed bandit!

I have a friend who has a bit of a deformed hand and before you think im a right bastard he takes the piss out of it more than me. On one of his hands his fingers only go to just past his knuckes. He was born like this and his hand is not like this for any of the following reasons that we have made up over the years.

"His hand got stuck in the honey like Winnie the Poo."
"His dad gave him a lit black cat banger to hold."
"His hand got stuck fisting some bloke."
"Chopped it off in woodwork class."

Anyway, I was in tescos today when Charlie rang me. He's laughing really hard trying to tell me something. Ozzie has a job interview as a hotel porter and Charlie and Marko have a bet of a hundred euro on the outcome. Charlie is going for him not getting the job as he thinks you need two good hands for carrying luggage.

He then put on his best American accent

"Hey buddy, I aint got all fucking day. I gotta catch the red eye."

Best review ever!

Found this on still not 100% sure its a pisstake, there are alot of people out there living virtual lives!

"I have a mate who works on the buses and he is always telling me how great his job is. Well now i can experience his thrills and realise how lucky he is - yet he gets paid for it.

The excitement of this game is unreal, the thrill of seeing a queue of people is unrivalled - knowing that your the only person who can help them. I now know where my mate is coming from and why is always so tired in the evenings. He recommended this game for me as he uses it at weekends to keep things "Ticking over"

At £15, a bargain, roll on Bus Simulator 2009 !!!

ps can we have routemasters and also be able to edit the drivers looks please"

Who I am in three steps!

In my early blogging days I wrote a blog on a neighbor of mine nearly getting killed by a crocodile in Cancun during his sisters wedding.

Well a wildlife production company seen my blog, I presume they got my email from blogger which led to gmail and from there they got my real name and emailed me on facebook.

Hi John,

I have already emailed you in fact, but thought I would write a message to you here as well as Facebook often gets checked more than emails. My name is Susie Povey and I am doing some research for Tigress Productions here in bristol about human-animal conflict. I came across your blog 'The Adventures of Another Paddy in England'. The assistant producer is extremely keen to talk to Sean about his experience in cancun for a new television series we are producing. Please can you help me? Could you put me in touch with Sean, some contact details perhaps?

Thank you so much for your help,

Susie Povey

I had a bit of a hangover today, so told her to go away. Shes just going to have to try harder for a runner and ring every Treacy in the phonebook. Expecting me to do her work for her! The fuckin nerve!

Thursday, 12 February 2009

Conversations with the mother!

Ma: "Hows work?"
me: "Grand...."
Ma: "I seen your sisters engagement ring at the weekend. There going to get engaged on valenties i think."
me: "How much did it cost?"
Ma: "Around 7 thousand."
me: "cool."
Ma: "Have you got a lady for valentines day?"
me: "Unless, I find one on the way home."
Ma: "haha."

She tells my father what I said, he laughs too.

Ma: "Make sure its not a street monkey."

I was in work using there phone to call internationally as I wouldnt dream of wasting my money. So naturally i burst out laughing on my headset and the whole office was staring at me. I wasnt sure if my mother was being racist or talking about prostitutes but she hadnt said something to me like this before and I couldnt stop laughing.

me: "I dont think thats the politically correct term, i better go."

Wednesday, 11 February 2009

Managing Money

Ok so I official suck at this and have spent the morning shouting at some asshole from my bank. Last month I was 81 pence overdrawn due to a direct debit. I noticed this one night when I was checking my account. So I rang up Abbey and they told me not to worry, I wouldn't be charged blah blah blah. Got my statement in today I have been charged £37 quid. NOT A HAPPY BUNNY!

I once temp'd for RBS and at the time my job was to send a templated letter back to customers complaining about overdraft fines. There was a few different steps to try and get the customer to basically fuck off.

1.If this was the customers first complaint, they got an immediate rejection unless there was an accompanying letter requesting the bank to attend a case brought forward by the ombudsman. In this case if the sum was less than a thousand the bank paid as it was cheaper than going to court.

2. Second complaint letter was also rejected. We had a second reject correspondence letter.(You can see how much fun this job was)

3. Third letter same process

4. Fourth letter they gave you the amount of the fine back.

I dont mind the fine that much, its the fact that a member of there staff told me I wouldnt be fined. I actually asked her should I go down and deposit a pound into my account so I wouldnt pay a fine and she told me there was no need. If I had done that my fine would have been £25 quid less. IM IN A MOOD!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, 9 February 2009

My Top 25

Currently working through the top 25 films taken from the American Film Institute's list of the 100 Greatest Movies. I have watched Casablanca and on the Waterfront over the weekend. They were good movies, I wont be going out of my way to watch them again though. I therefore decided to write my own list. Most of these films were made in the 90s and it was tough leaving some out. I think a few films didnt make my cut as I have seen them so many times Im kinda bored with them. Apart from my number 1. Could watch that everyday!

1.The Matrix
2.Jerry Maguire
3.American Beauty
4.High Fidelity
5.Fight Club
6.Forrest Gump
9.Office Space
11.The King of Kong: A fistful of quarters
12.Coming to America
13.Igby goes down
14.Tommy Boy
14.American History X
15.Almost Famous
16.Home Alone
17.The Shawshank Redemption
18.Terminator 2: Judgement Day
19.Dawn of the Dead
20.Boiler room
22.Young Guns
23.Die Hard
24.One Flew over the cuckoos nest
25.Pulp Fiction

"Dude, your a sick fuck!"

An 18-year-old Wisconsin man is being charged with using Facebook to extort sex from boys by threatening to expose nude pictures of them he obtained by acting as girls on the social-networking site.

Ok, this is on a whole new level of creepy. We have all seen the profiles on several different social networks of some "girl" half naked claiming to be a lesbian and for other lesbians to get in touch. I remember reading on someone elses blog or magazine that 95% of these accounts were fake and basically it results in desperate men emailing pics of some girl to other desperate men who they assume are women. Im going to get a cold drink, writing this has turned my stomach a bit.

This guy obviously isn't the full shilling. Here is the list of what he has been charged with possession of child pornography, soliciting sex with minors and making a bomb threat by e-mail to teachers at his high school in November. He's in the slammer at the moment as his bail is $250,000 for some reason. In another crazy high school story from America, a boyfriend and girlfriend both 17 have been charged with having child pornography on there phone. Sexual pictures of each other. Just another crazy day in America!

Friday, 6 February 2009

Students stop drinking? Operation Dutch Gold?

I love a bit of Wikipedia, heres some of what it had to say about the drink I like to call central heating for knackers

"In 2006, the Gardaí launched a campaign against anti-social behaviour in Lucan under the name 'Operation Dutch Gold'. The distributors of the product, Comans Wholesale of Tallaght, complained that the naming of the project was unfair to them.[4]

There has been a move away from a drinking culture in Irish student society. But, nonetheless, University College Dublin has a Dutch Gold Appreciation Society."

And what the fuck are students playing at these days? Learning stuff? THere has been a move away from drinking? WTF? I think I need to go back to Uni Homer Simpson style and teach them how to party down!

Thursday, 5 February 2009

A bit of good news

Just before Xmas I was told my contract would not be extended for another year as originally planned but for 3 months. There would be a review in March to see if I could then have another 3 months. In January it was announced that six staff from our team of 32 would be losing there jobs. I dont count in this number, I am actually number 33 but my wages are paid out of some other budget. I dont really understand it so I wont go into it. Im basically the foosball table they have in the corner that costs alot of money. Anyway, I have been told my job is now safe until July 7th when it will go under another review, so Im off to get drunk, toodles!

Wednesday, 4 February 2009

Duane Michals

My tutor showed us some of this guys photographs the other night at class, it takes a bit for me to be impressed but this is fuckin genius.

Making an auld mix cd!

"The making of a great compilation tape, like breaking up, is hard to do and takes ages longer than it might seem. You gotta kick off with a killer, to grab attention. Then you got to take it up a notch, but you don't wanna blow your wad, so then you got to cool it off a notch. There are a lot of rules."

Yeah well I dont have Nick Hornbys number so someone will have to help me out. This is a cd for a certain someone. Never done this before, flowers and a red thong is alot easier. How many songs are you suppose to put on a mix cd? Somewhere between 12 and 20?

Now what to put on it? I only have one song in my head that I want to put on it. Its Ham Sandwiches Keep Sake. Now for the other fuckin 11 or 19. Do I put songs on it I like? Or songs I think she would like? Is that the same thing? The only concert I know shes been to is Take That in the summer but wasn't every girl? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Thing Il go with a single red rose and a red thong

Tuesday, 3 February 2009

Sonas status!

Ive been working from home all day today as the police made the buses stop service around here.

Me: "Alright, will the buses be still running at 9 tonight."
Bus driver: "Yeah of course mate."

We managed to travel a whole one stop.

Bus driver:"Im sorry the police have been onto to us and have instructed us we cannot take you any further."

Went home logged in the work laptop, turned on my own laptop. Seen Sona (who is a total babe) status "is loving the way that snow can even make TALLAGHT look pretty :)"


Monday, 2 February 2009

How my goals for 2009 are going so far

At the start of January I did a blog on five things I wanted to achieve in 2009. Here is a little update on them.

1. Started my photography course - really enjoying it. Class four tonight, I will have to walk home in the snow ahhhhhh!

2. Pass driving test - Still haven't applied for an English Driving license whoops. (ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT)

3.Go on a different type of holiday - Not even sure if I will get to go on a holiday this year. Will have a better idea in about a month if my contract is getting extended. Not very confident on this one. Im the last of the mohicans (contracters) here at the moment. Oh well at least I have Glastonbury to look forward to.

4.Start coming to work on time? - Nope still consistently late, then again my bus crashed too, wasn't too much I could do about that one.

5.Build a mame cocktail table. - Got some construction blueprints and realised it would be alot cheaper to buy the damn thing. If I can get an old busted one on ebay that needs new parts and the cpu replacing might be tempted. The 4 main panels I would need to build the frame were £98 quid a piece and that was with an employee discount. Need to look into this more.

Thats my list for the year, bit too easy isnt it. Gonna add another!

6. Read five books a month. - This month I will be reading The Watchmen, Anne Franks diary, The Game and Its not about the Bike.

The Watchmen - I have heard too many conversations on this comic and I want to be able to throw in my two cent.

Anne Franks diary - I think everyone knows about this sad true story, I know how it ends but I am still looking forward to reading it.

The Game - Is written by Neil Strauss, its suppose to be about his sexual conquests but no one is entirely sure if this little bald man is telling the truth.

Its not about the bike - Is the autobiography of Lance Armstrong and his battle against cancer