How to get thrown out of a car?

So im not exactly a morning person. Im definately not a 6am person. Well thats when I was woken up today by a toddler, then pushed out of bed at 7. Then told to hurry up after being in shower for half an hour. Then got dirty im late and its all your fault looks. Not being able to eat breakfast she has made as hungover from beer and wine.

Atmosphere is a bit tense in the car its about 8:05, I would still be walking about in my boxers if I was at my place. Ive said nothing, im in a mood for being blamed on the lateness even if it was my fault. Im too early to go to work, I dont have enough money to go get a fancy breakfast somewhere.

Radio 1 is on, conversation non-existant.

Girlie:"Its really quiet, no one is on the streets."
Me:"There all in fuckin bed, where I should be!"

And now im on the pavement laughing my head off. Im such a prick

This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time!

"Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off. "

I dont think anyone would guess what got me thinking of that passage in Fight Club this morning. I was doing my usual morning ritual of shower at 7:45, iron shirt for work at 8 while watching the news, 8:15 get dressed, 8:30 breakfast. Well it goes roughly something like that most days. I watch the first half of Run's house some mornings at is usually on at 08:30am on MTV and shoot out the door at 840. Until this morning that was, this morning I got the pleasure of watching the Hills.

The Hills revolves around the lives of these ridiculously rich good looking people. They all attend interesting courses and have a great intern jobs and live in fancy apartments and go to michelin restaurants every night. No buying a big bag of pasta at the start of the month in case you run out of money for food for those fuckers.

So another question, am I jealous? Sure I want their money but not much else. I think what I am trying to get at is I thought life would be as easy as it appears on the Hills. They all seem to have good jobs but still party every night and live in a great place and nothing seems to be out of their reach. And I know this is a tv show but its suppose to be a reality TV show. Whose fucking reality is this? I dont know anyone who lives in this luxury. Maybe that type of wealth just doesn't exist in Ireland.

Back to me though, maybe I was just delusional. I had no idea why I thought something big was going to happen to me but I was convinced it was and maybe it will but its slowly staring me in the face that I will have to continue down the old career route. FUCK!

What big thing did I think was going to happen to me? Very average at football, very average at everything really. Maybe I thought I would win the lotto. The only thing I have ever tried which potentially could have made me money was when I wrote a book, too many rejection letters can make you feel a tad shite!

Ive realised your suppose to work a job you hate. Well maybe hate is a strong word. I cant say I hate my job. Im writing this blog while at work, how bad can it be? Im not down a mine shovelling coal, life could be worse. And im definately not working so I can buy shit I dont need. Im working as I need a roof over my head, I got bills to pay and I got beers that need to be bought. Im not working so I can have two porsches instead of one. That kind of read like I have a porsche, I dont! Got a bus pass though, yeah baby!

New Blog

Im giving serious thought to doing a tv review blog, the only question is when am I going to get the time to do it? I will have a little think about it! Tv shows im watching lately: Terminator, Scrubs, Shameless and South Park is back on tv, Season 13.

The In Betweeners starts up again next week! Definately worth a watch! New Season kicks off next Thursday 10pm April 2nd, it will be taking Skins slot on E4.

Its good to be the champ!

So last Monday was the last day of my photography course. There were 16 of us in the class and the tutor had told us of a small competition between ourselves that would be held on the last week. The competition was based on night photography (no flash).

I couldn't decide on which photo to choose. He was putting up our photos one by one on a board and I was really hoping we werent going to be ranked 1-16 as I would have placed myself about 12th.

Anyway the tutor thought other wise, so when he said "I think John is a deserved winner", I looked around the class looking for another John until it dawned on me that he actually meant me.

Here's the photo I entered. Oh and I have tried to get some photos uploaded to istockphoto and I have been rejected grrrrrrrrrrr!

South Park and Mickey Mouse and the Jonas Fuckers!

Urban Legend: Volume 1

I remember hearing this one as a kid more than a dozen times. Some genius whizkid had somehow managed to fuse a Megadrive and a Super Nintendo together which meant when you turned it on, it was the world's first 32 bit home video game console!

Oh yeah and whizkid/engineer got twenty years in jail for copyright enfringment.

I am giving this an 9.1 on the bullshit monitor.

Dont be giving me attitude biatch!

Ok so I got a new phone (AN IPHONE :) ) and you have to go through that horrible process of adding numbers to it and sending people messages to say this is your new number and deciding who to send it too.

I counted 12 girls numbers on my phone and I cant remember who they are and I realised im a bit of a whore. So they didnt get sent a message. Anyway I texted this one girl I had seen a few times and I kind of let it fizzle out and she didnt really like this. So she sent me a few messages about my iphone will break and I will probably lose it and blah blah blah i have a new boyfriend he's great more blah blah blah

"Dude you need to relax, you should really talk to Ferris...."

Well she rang me and went apeshit and I couldnt stop laughing at the poor girl.

I know ive been blowing my own trumpet a bit in this blog but its Friday, another week has gone by where I haven't been given the bullet, I won money on the horses, I just looked in the mirror and I think im getting better looking with age.

Sometimes you have to remind yourself how much of a fuckin rockstar you really are!