Wednesday, 8 April 2009

The man!

Another Ryanair flight, another fucking disaster of course. They never sent me my confirmation email of course. I give one of the lads a ring to see can I get a lift. Its 12:30 my flights at 13:40 but this is typical me, organised people go on organised holidays and take organised photos. Yeah there is a meaning in that somewhere but im not deep enough to comphrend it.

Good old Neiler "Yeah no problem shag"

I dont really understand why welsh people call each other shag. Its not the same as the irish saying as shes a ride. Neil doesnt want to have sex with me.

I get hit with a 20 quid fine at Ryanair check in as I couldn't check in online as they never sent me the damn confirmation. Tough shit Paddy! Pay the fine and then contact complaints to get it back. Two hopes of that.

Big queue waiting for the plane. So I sit down and read the paper until only about 10 people remain and then I join the queue. There was a guy there with his son, looked like a big of a headcase. Extreme Dublin accent, long hair, ear rings and a ten year old boy. He had some how lost his boarding card between the security and the departure gates. He was reassuring his son that everything was ok while at the sametime screaming at the staff.

I boarded the plane and sat down beside some randomer. There was a seat between us. He had the window and I had the aisle. Well the Brendan Kilkenny lookalike got on the plane with his son and was still cursing the staff and telling his son everything was rosey. He walked the length of the plane and then realised there was nowhere for the two of them to sit together and he went fucking mental. Screaming at the staff. I offered to move seat and sat beside two girls who peered over my shoulder and read my paper whenever it got to something interesting like Madonna cant adopt african goldfish.

The Long haired Screamer was all so thankful to me. He shook my hand and shouted "you always meet nice people wherever you go, pity about the fuckin staff." Himself and his son had a bit of a picnic on board with them and were munching away. Everytime they came to a new item the man asked his son to ask the man did he want some. I got offered a sandwich, a sup of coke, a sup of fanta, a jaffacake and some pringles. I no thanks them.

I love Ryanair flights. The two girls I was sitting with had obviously had some sort of tiffy before they got on. But now they were hugging and holding hands and I was imagining a 3some, then we landed and now I will never see them again :(

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