Monday, 23 February 2009

Dear Paddy (Volume 1)

"Dear Paddy,

I DIDN'T get aroused at all when I had a private lapdance. Does that mean I’m gay?

I’m an 18-year-old virgin, have been out with a few girls but I’ve never had a serious relationship.

My brother had his 21st last week and we went on a pub crawl and ended up in this club.

We all had a private dance but the girl who danced for me was about 30 and very forceful in getting me to dance with her.

I just felt nervous and embarrassed and didn’t feel any stirrings in the trouser department.

I’m happy to wait until the right girl comes along but all the other guys were saying how hot the women were and I wondered whether this is a sign I’m gay.

What do you think?"

Dear Bob,

I think you made the mistake of going on a pub crawl and then falling into some seedy shit hole. So you got pestered into having a lap dance by some old trout and had twenty beers before that and your wondering why you had a case of Mr.Floppy. If you enter one of these shit holes again be sure to have a good look round for the best looking skank. Not much point in getting a hard on anyway as you wont be able to do much about it till you get home. Oh so in answer to your question yes your a fag, for writing this letter.

Couldnt give a fuck,

No comments: