I have a friend who has a bit of a deformed hand and before you think im a right bastard he takes the piss out of it more than me. On one of his hands his fingers only go to just past his knuckes. He was born like this and his hand is not like this for any of the following reasons that we have made up over the years.
"His hand got stuck in the honey like Winnie the Poo."
"His dad gave him a lit black cat banger to hold."
"His hand got stuck fisting some bloke."
"Chopped it off in woodwork class."
Anyway, I was in tescos today when Charlie rang me. He's laughing really hard trying to tell me something. Ozzie has a job interview as a hotel porter and Charlie and Marko have a bet of a hundred euro on the outcome. Charlie is going for him not getting the job as he thinks you need two good hands for carrying luggage.
He then put on his best American accent
"Hey buddy, I aint got all fucking day. I gotta catch the red eye."
coke, mousse and snes
8 years ago