Friday, 13 February 2009

THe one handed bandit!

I have a friend who has a bit of a deformed hand and before you think im a right bastard he takes the piss out of it more than me. On one of his hands his fingers only go to just past his knuckes. He was born like this and his hand is not like this for any of the following reasons that we have made up over the years.


"His hand got stuck in the honey like Winnie the Poo."
"His dad gave him a lit black cat banger to hold."
"His hand got stuck fisting some bloke."
"Chopped it off in woodwork class."

Anyway, I was in tescos today when Charlie rang me. He's laughing really hard trying to tell me something. Ozzie has a job interview as a hotel porter and Charlie and Marko have a bet of a hundred euro on the outcome. Charlie is going for him not getting the job as he thinks you need two good hands for carrying luggage.

He then put on his best American accent

"Hey buddy, I aint got all fucking day. I gotta catch the red eye."

5 comments:

English Mum said...

No way! I have a big scar on my shoulder, and if anyone is rude enough to ask how I got it (generally American people when we're on holiday), my kids try to outdo themselves with the most ridiculous tales: 'she was attacked by a shark - it almost ripped off her arm'...she was dragged into a lake by a crocodile'... 'she got that scar when a skydiving jump went tragically wrong'...

It entertains them no end. Bless.

English Mum said...

Oh, and you were right, smarty pants. I did upload an old photo by mistake. I've changed it but you'll see how similar they are. A+ for you, though x

Toners said...

Ha brilliant.

Quickroute said...

it's a good ploy for sympathy tips though!

PaddyInEngland said...

@quickroute - yeah i think he should limp a bit too, he would probably make millions. il pass on the advise